Whats going on!!??

I do not know!!!

Gees where do I start.

So much is happening I'm sure my head is spinning on my shoulders some days.

Joking aside though it's true, half the time I'm either a day ahead of myself and don't know what I'm doing nor what day it actually is or I'm chasing my tail going over things I've already done and a day behind playing catch up then.

And gosh I haven't been on for over a month, thats ages and it feels like such a shot time, though my days are dragging!!!!

Right Update (ready for this mammoth, lol)

The girls don't stop fighting and at 4 and 2 it's really physical, Soph's biting lumps out of El in frustration all the time, because El has a total disregard for her and her needs and wants, so then El will kick her or punch her and then Soph pulls her hair, and they both end up crying and being put on the stairs or having the TV off etc. Ohhhhhhh it's never ending everyday is the same and I dread the weekends when El's off school. I'm a referee now, not mum all I say is "girls stop it, your sisters, leave her alone, don't do that, stop!!!!!" even Taffy the blinking budgie shouts "the girls" and " your sisters". Now though El thinks she can get away with anything by saying "but mummy I love you" with a deep and meaningful yet shrilling cry and Soph by saying "I promise mammy" with fluttery eye lashes, Ohhhhhh My Girls they do try to wrap us round their fingers.

To say when their together their doing my head in is an understatement. Though for the past 3 days they've actually been quiet good because their ill!!!!! El been quiet poorly with a really bad cough thats just comes and goes and has done for 4 weeks now and yet this week it's taken a step up a gear and not let up. So off we went to the GP expecting anti-b's, but now she's on steroids for her asthma (brown pump) instead as well as her blue pump both with different chambers (which are huge, where do you store them) and allergy meds aswell as regular calpol and cough meds for now to clear her chesty cough. Doc says she's an allergic/coughing asthmatic and wants to see her next week if there's no improvement in her, he's pretty sure thats what she is as her symptoms are 10 times worse after about 5 o'clock which he says is classic asthma as it attacks at night, her chest sounds clear and yet her cough is chesty/phlegmie suggesting asthma again. She spends all night now coughing, being sick (coughing too much) and crying out being unsettled, though today she woke up at 11am Thats how ill she is, my girl that gets up at the crack of dawn is sleeping in till nearly dinner!!!

So right now she's off school, though the stupid education people gave us a number to call if ever El had a day off to inform her transport (good ole Arthur), we'd been phoning this number every morning at 7am and leaving messages and yet the bus was still coming (not that we saw as we've been in bed at that time, but found out it was still coming to the street). I finally saw El handler on the bus yesterday in town and explained to her only to find out they'd given us totally the wrong number and the number we'd been calling was never registered to the company. I called the company as she gave me a card with the number on, I apologized profusely explained what happened and the guy said lucky I called as if El were to miss so many days without notice, transport would have been canceled all together!!!!! Feck's at education!!!! I will shoot off a complaint ot them thats for sure.

Soph okay just has a mild cough so she's just got over the counter meds and she'll bounce back in no time as always, but at least their unwell enough not to fight at the mo.

Also last Saturday was our first daughter 8th birthday/anniversary which was a total mixed bag of emotions, it's the first year that I've felt empowered and strong on the run up to her day and didn't fall apart like a blubbering wreak, (that was afterwards on Sunday). Saturday we did the usual at her grave side, placed flowers, tidied up, looked at the other Angel's graves, so many new ones in such a short space of time, bring you down with a bump, you know. And then we took the girls to an outdoor museum called St Fagan's for the day where we sat by the lake and walked around the castle and houses there, went on a horse and cart ride, looked around the farm, threw a pot and had family fun.

It was a pretty chilled day considering everything that was going on back home.

3 days before that MIL was knocked over by some lad running into the jobcentre and snapped her hand off (ok wasn't literally snapped off, but every bone was broke in her wrist and only her skin was keeping it on ). So she spent until Saturday in hospital, had 3 hours of manipulation and x rays under local and gas and air and was plastered upto her arm pit. They can't put her under as she would probably have complications now given the meds she's on for cancer treatment, heart attacks, oestio-thingymawotsit and a few other things, and if this last manipulation doesn't work it's a calculated risk putting her under to fix it with a mechano set, so heres to her cons appointment next Wednesday, where the x ray will show it's knitting together hopefully.

Think thats it apart from a few other personal bits between me and hubs, lots of cross words, making up, more cross words etc, we're having a tough time tbh. He's having a rough trot in work some collegues playing up and having affairs, causing a mess, put that with his head finally coming out of the sand about El and well you've got a stressed man. He's never needed to understand before now because I've done everything that needs doing from controlling her, teaching her, appointments and Dr's, basically everything and now I telling him I'm not coping alone anymore he has to acknowledge things and help out, not that he doesn't help out at all, he just doesn't know how to do things the right way with El, iykwim. They clash too much and end up storming away from each other rather than sorting anything out.

Ooooohhhhhhhh nearly forgot the biggy, our case against El's old school is nearly over and a solicitor will be involved on our behalf, we're seeking out a good ASD knowledgeable solicitor in South Wales right now, my mum's on the case for that. We're probably going to sue for discrimination because of a disabilty, bullying, and a few other things like management ignoring us and not taking our concerns seriously nor acknowledging El had a problem.

So here's to their day in court when we'll walk away smiling.

Right think I've updated enough, lol.

Will have to pick myself up and update more regularly.